Oh, Rick Santorum. Good heavens, we were wondering how long it would take someone to figure it out. After all, it's been years since we cooked up the hoax, although we've had to have brief check-in meetings to sustain it over the years, under the pretense of... oh, well, I'm sure you know: hanging out in the red tent, attending the Lilith Fair, giving the secret grip at our sorority meetings, watching Lifetime, going to Avon and Pampered Chef parties, listening to speeches at the League of Women Voters, demonstrating with Code Pink and Le Front Des Lesbiennes Radicales, and generally gathering with other women to no good end.